Let’s be clear, behind every goal we set for ourselves, there lies a deeper emotional connection. Unfortunately, this connection is often untapped, somewhere along the road of success procrastination sets in, our motivation wavers and a dream is often deferred.

You often hear of the 80/20 Nutrition to Exercise rule when it comes to fitness, but I would argue that fitness is 99.99% mental.  After training clients in the Alexandria, Annandale and Woodbridge, VA area for over a year, I’ve witnessed numerous consultations where clients beamed with a passion and hunger for success only to slowly become sidetracked.  The tediousness of tracking nutrition, a lack of patience and mental roadblocks to intense training can be daunting.

Yes it’s true, we are often unsuccessful when it comes to maintaining our fitness because the surface goals we set lack the emotional connection needed to drive us beyond the barriers we face.  In order to meet this challenge head on, I’ve implemented the iterative question-asking technique The 5 Whys Exercise into my new client consultations.

The exercise requires you to begin by identifying a specific desire or goal. That goal is then dissected with 5 Whys.  After the goal has been identified, the individual must pose a question beginning with the word why to piggyback on the previous responses. The 5th why represents a solution to the initial goal. Here is an example of the 5 Whys in practice.

Christine: I want to lose 10lbs.

Why? So I can fit into my favorite dress.

I haven’t been able to fit it for years.

Why? I gained weight.

Why? Binging or emotional eating.

Why? I had a bad breakup, lost some self-confidence and didn’t care about myself or image as much as I used to which resulted in my confidence dropping a bit.

Christine’s initial desire was to lose 10lbs., but the driving force behind her weight loss is the fact that she doesn’t feel as confident as she once did due to some personal struggles. We thrive from that which we are emotionally connected and as her trainer, this is what I would use to push her beyond her psychological limits. The realization of these truths can sometimes be an uncomfortable experience. Weight gain isn’t easy to discuss and its’ root causes often expose hidden insecurities.

I’m often asked about my transformation on social media. Here are the 5 Whys that motivated my own success.

Beny: I want to lose weight, obtain sculpted abs and finally have the body I’ve always wanted.

Why? I’m tired of striving for things and never following through with results.

Why? It’s frustrating. My father has always told me what I couldn’t do and for once I wanted to show and prove I could follow through, from start to finish.

Why? I think he had a few insecurities.

Why? I think the divorce between my parents affected his manhood a bit and he didn’t have an outlet, so he took it out on me.

Why? He was hurt. I chose to live with my mother. Because of this, resentment has existed between us for many years. I want to set a goal and prove to him that I could not only achieve that goal, but excel at it.

This was my motivation.  It wasn’t really about me getting rock solid abs. I wanted to find something that I was passionate about, stick with it and prove to my father that I could do what I wanted with my life. This was something to which I was deeply connected. The thought of my father’s doubt helped me push through each barrier I faced when I wanted to quit and when I didn’t see myself in the body that I’ve always wanted. The You can’t fueled my I can, birthing iRebel (I Reach Excellence Beyond Expected Levels).1-2-3-4-5-fingers-on-hand1

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