Let me get this out the way before I start… I’m a big support and accountability kind of guy. I believe the company you keep often determines how successful you are in life. Do you agree? I’m going to safely assume you do and if that is the case you will understand my frustration on this topic. You hear folks all the time say fitness is this weird 70% diet to 30% ratio but I am here to tell you throw all that gym psychology crap away.

Fitness is and always will be 100% mental.

The hardest part of changing your appearance is changing your attitude towards working out. Most people mentally psych themselves out before they even get into the gym thinking about what it will take for them to get to their goals. Let’s be real here; working out for the majority of the population SUCKS! Working out specially sucks if you’re out of shape coming off your couch trying to get established in a routine that you haven’t tried ever in life or if you haven’t seen the inside of a gym in a couple of years. The thought of 60 minutes in a gym, how long you have until you reach your goals, and the reality of how out of shape you are can be daunting to say the least. So the last thing you need is who???? “That friend”.

Who is “that friend”? That friend is the one who’s always questioning you on the purpose of you working out with comments like “Girl, don’t work out too hard. You’re going to start looking sick.” or “Don’t get too muscular or you’re going to start looking like a man.” or “Where did your butt and your hips go? You’re starting to look like your 12 again.” and the list goes on and on and on. Most people would call “that friend” a hater (and yes while this is true lol), this isn’t the type of hater that you should distance yourself from (at least initially). You see this type of friend (hater) deep down inside their envious little heart is really reaching out to you in their weird little way for help. They’d never tell you this but they see your commitment and persistence and they would love to do the same. However they also realize that they currently lack those same discipline and qualities so they tear you down to feel better about themselves. (See how I just flipped that around?)

The same principals that apply in life apply in fitness. Fitness is a relationship. And oftentimes nosey friends and family that butt into your relationship with their unwanted opinions can change or break that bond and have a negative impact on your results.

So how do you deal with discouraging comments from people who don’t fully understand the commitment you’ve made to better yourself? My approach would be to help them to understand that this isn’t just about your appearance. Help them understand that there is also an emotional connection to feeling better about yourself and regaining the self-confidence you once had. Fitness makes you happy. It makes you feel better about yourself and in some instances; it may even change your attitude or approach to different things. And most people aren’t ready for that. I would sit that friend down and explain to them the importance and purpose of this new commitment and why it is also important to have their support through this process. I would also encourage them to join you and help them understand how fitness can benefit them as well. Including this “friend” in the process will hopefully help them get a better understanding and might just change their attitude. If this doesn’t work…


Yup lol. I said it: ‘ta hell with them! It is never too late to make new friends. The first thing you have to realize is some people do not have your best interest at heart and when you switch your focus from them and onto something that’s important to you, a bit of envy and yes, jealousy may settle in. Fitness takes strength and is extremely hard to do as it is and the last thing you need is someone spewing his or her negativity towards something that really matters to you. Surround yourself with people with similar goals and aspirations in a supportive environment. Community is the foundation we have built our programs on at our Alexandria, and Woodbridge locations. If the people around you don’t understand, respect and support the things that matter to you the most, do not let that stop you. Use their doubt as your motivation to keep pushing and prove them wrong! I’m here to help and would love to assist in any way that I can. Hit us up for more information and let’s get you started on the right path with the support you need!

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